Boris’ Bananas Made it to Montreux

It was a balmy July evening overlooking the gorgeous Montreux waterfront, with Lac Léman lapping coolly by the moorings of smart motor boats, and the French alps jutting up proud ahead of us.

We had been invited to an evening of Herbie Hancock and friends (who was youthful, intelligent and energetic despite his 76 years), and were settling down at a table for a pre-concert meal with newfound acquaintances from Neuchâtel.

We did the round of introductions, and has been the norm for the past fortnight, as soon as anyone here hears you are British, talk moves quickly to that of #brexit. It is like repeatedly having to re-enact the lead up to and reasons for a car crash, despite still suffering severe PTSD.

I won’t impose on you the well rehearsed and repeated discussions, as we have all been having them around dinner tables in the nervous lead up to, and since the 23rd June. What did blindside me however was one gentleman, more than a little tipsy on his Saint Sulpice Chasselas, saying that he didn’t blame the Brits, wanting to leave behind ridiculous regulations such as dictats on the shape of our bananas, and the lack of democracy in the EU.

Now, I cannot fault the Swiss for criticising the opacity of the Council of Ministers, as this is the land of enviable direct democracy and devolution to the Cantonal and Communal level. However, it does show how little those here understand the lack of democracy in the UK with it’s unwieldy, unelected and hereditary second chamber, and the Queen as head of state.

Worse, I was mortified that Boris’ lies about bananas (amongst other things) have become a UK successful export, alongside One Direction — perhaps helped by the historically weakened pound Sterling. How is it that despite being fired from The Times for making up a quotation, his words have floated across the otherwise still waters of Lake Geneva to thump unceremoniously on our dinner table in Montreux. Despite my anger at the mortally weakened pound, trillions falling of markets globally, and the chief Brexiteers all fiddling some jingoistic tunes whilst the City of London burns, it was this lingering lie making its way from the pages of the compicit Europhobic UK press gang that stung the most.

Despite the general good humour around the table, it must be said that the Swiss are not completely complacent with their strong Franc and abundance of mountains, lakes and private wealth under management. The Swiss have weeks and month left to renegotiate their position with the EU since the 2014 referendum against freedom of movement (which unlike the UK referendum, here in Switzerland is legally binding and has a hard deadline of Feb 2017).

The #brexit decision (as predicted) has resulted in a much hardened stance from the EU towards the Swiss. It is uncertain where this is going, but without a solution in place soon, the Swiss will be in breach of the more than 120 treaties it has in place allowing access to the European market.

So Herbie did his best to cheer me up (well ok, not personally), but every syncopated step only reminded me of what we should expect the coming years will look like — politically, economically and socially. And all because of a few misshapen lies about our bananas…